Andrea Wilson Woods' Blog

When I asked this question on Facebook, most people responded with the same answers although not necessarily in the same order: spouse, parent, children, and/or another family member. If their children were not old enough to own a cell phone, then they had their children’s school in their Fave Five. One person replied, “No one” because he uses his Bluetooth to voice dial his contacts.

A concept created by T-Mobile (see the Wade/Barkley Fave Five commercials), Fave Five allows unlimited calling to your five favorite people even if they are on another network or only use a landline. However, the term “Fave Five” also implies the top five people in your speed dial—your favorite people. What I found most interesting is that not one adult listed any friends in their Fave Five, which makes me wonder if I’m just odd.

Here’s my Fave Five:

1. Voicemail — I’m sure there is a way to undo this default function, but I haven’t bothered to figure it out yet.
2. Corey — My husband is second only to the voicemail. I’m like most people—my spouse takes top priority.
3. Dad — My dad earned this spot after I realized how often I call him and after a friendship with a girlfriend ended. I realize now that he should have been #3 all along.
4. Tony — The only person I know who can talk longer on the phone than I can, and certainly the only man who likes to talk on the phone as much as a woman does!
5. J. T. — My best gay guy pal who doesn’t necessarily like to talk on the phone, but I feel good knowing he’s in my Fave Five.

If my sister Adrienne was still alive, she would have the #2 spot (she was in my life long before my husband), and if I had children they would need a place, too. There is nothing wrong with putting family before friends, but sometimes, I don’t think adults (especially after we become parents) remember that friendships are important to our mental health.

Obviously, your Fave Five doesn’t reflect the full scope of the relationships in your life, but it does say a lot about who is most important to you. If you can’t add a friend to your “Fave Five” at least include one in your speed dial; the numbers 6, 7, 8, and 9 are awfully lonely.

AWW — XoXo

P.S. Check out this Saturday Night Live Fave Five spoof!

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When a movie surprises me, I walk out of the theater with a smile on my face and a swing in my step. I Love You Man far exceeded my very low expectations. My husband wanted to see the movie because one of his favorite bands Rush plays a concert in the film. I agreed to go along because I’ve liked Paul Rudd ever since Clueless. However, I didn’t think a movie titled I Love You Man would be any good. Well, I was wrong.

In a story about straight-male friendships, Paul Rudd’s character Peter realizes after becoming engaged that he doesn’t have any male friends to be his groomsmen. He’s not even that close to his father or his gay brother (played by Andy Samberg). So Peter begins a quest to find friends using his family, his fiance, and the Internet, but his attempts to form new relationships meet with disastrous albeit funny results. Of course, when Peter stops looking, he meets Jason Segel’s character Sydney — a real man’s man whose bluntness turns off many people.

I couldn’t stop laughing as I watched Sydney and Peter sing Rush songs in the “man cave” (i.e., no women allowed). Sydney is a firm believer in having fun, and he is also brutally honest, which forces Peter to open up about himself, his relationship, and his dreams. Their newfound friendship feels real, and even when it is tested, it survives. This onscreen, make-believe, male friendship made me wonder about my friends …

• Why do I have more male than female friends?
• Is it because I’ve always been competitive and aggressive — traits normally associated with men?
• Is it because I am (according to my father) too blunt?
• Regarding friendships, how do men differ from women?
• Why do I like having male (gay or straight) friends?
• Can a straight woman and a straight man be friends?

I’m going to ponder these questions … look for my next blog titled I love you man — part deux

AWW — XoXo

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I’m sure you have see the Man Rules email circulating on the Internet. Well after reading it, I felt compelled to write about it. Download the Man Rules and then read the rules (black) as well as my responses (red). Take that men!

P.S. This blog is dedicated to my dad; he knows why …

AWW — XoXo

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Yesterday I found out that a distant cousin of mine, I’ll call him Charlie, tried to commit suicide. He shot himself, but from my understanding, he placed the gun too far forward. Instead of blowing out his brains, he blasted off his nose and chin thus permanently disfiguring himself. Yet, he is still alive. I never knew Charlie suffered from depression, and I cannot imagine how he feels right now. He is a young man in his late twenties. He has children and a mother who loves him. Despite their pain, I feel the most empathy for Charlie, a man who failed at what was supposed to be the last task of his life.

Today is Adrienne’s birthday, and I can’t help thinking about her own battle with depression that wasn’t cured, but was certainly tempered by her diagnosis of liver cancer. Though the sadness lingered, she wanted to live more than anything … the irony overwhelms me. Had she lived, I don’t think Adrienne would have ever been suicidal again … melancholy—sure … willing to end her own life—no.

So I wonder what will happen to Charlie … will this terrible tragedy lead to some sort of epiphany? Or will he look in the mirror after months of reconstructive surgery and reach for the nearest razor blade? I don’t have the answers, but having been there myself, I don’t want Charlie to be in pain. So you do whatever you need to do Charlie, no matter what you decide—we will always love you.

AWW — XoXo

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