When suicide goes awry
April 8th 2009 10:02 am
Yesterday I found out that a distant cousin of mine, I’ll call him Charlie, tried to commit suicide. He shot himself, but from my understanding, he placed the gun too far forward. Instead of blowing out his brains, he blasted off his nose and chin thus permanently disfiguring himself. Yet, he is still alive. I never knew Charlie suffered from depression, and I cannot imagine how he feels right now. He is a young man in his late twenties. He has children and a mother who loves him. Despite their pain, I feel the most empathy for Charlie, a man who failed at what was supposed to be the last task of his life.
Today is Adrienne’s birthday, and I can’t help thinking about her own battle with depression that wasn’t cured, but was certainly tempered by her diagnosis of liver cancer. Though the sadness lingered, she wanted to live more than anything … the irony overwhelms me. Had she lived, I don’t think Adrienne would have ever been suicidal again … melancholy—sure … willing to end her own life—no.
So I wonder what will happen to Charlie … will this terrible tragedy lead to some sort of epiphany? Or will he look in the mirror after months of reconstructive surgery and reach for the nearest razor blade? I don’t have the answers, but having been there myself, I don’t want Charlie to be in pain. So you do whatever you need to do Charlie, no matter what you decide—we will always love you.
AWW — XoXo
