Andrea Wilson Woods' Blog

According to psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages were initially applied to terminally ill patients, but were later adapted to include anyone who had experienced a personal loss (e.g., divorce, job). People may not go through every stage, and the order is not important. Though the Kubler-Ross model has been criticized, I believe it has merit. However, Kubler-Ross failed to recognize the importance of grieving the end of all meaningful relationships including friendships. Therefore, I would like to propose another stage: painger—that horrible feeling of being so upset that you want to hurt, emotionally and/or physically, the person who has caused you pain, but you still care too much about the person to actually harm him/her.

In many ways, I prefer anger because it’s just easier to hate someone. You can yell. You can scream. You can throw things. You can bitch to your friends. In anger, you find allies. Your boyfriend cheated on you? Your girlfriends will support your mad-as-hell rage. Getting revenge is more fun for everyone (except for the target) than feeling sorry for yourself. Anger encourages empowerment. Carrie Underwood’s Before He Cheats song was a huge hit because she didn’t cry, she got even. Whoever said living well is the sweetest revenge never “took a Louisville slugger to both headlights.” Honestly, I wish I could tell you a fantastic story about how I avenged a personal grievance, but when my crazy ex-boyfriend accused me of slashing “a hole in all four tires” I didn’t do it. Hell, I didn’t even know where he lived at the time.

When someone you love has hurt you, you may also experience emotional pain or depression. And trust me, no one wants to hear about it. After a certain point (other people determine this time for you), you are supposed to “get over it.” Even your best friends will grow tired of your pain because no one likes a pity party. In Sex and the City (episode #25), Carrie’s friends tell her to see a psychiatrist because they can’t listen to her whine anymore about her breakup with Big. According to the latest CDC statistics, more than one out of 20 Americans (ages 12 and older) are depressed; yet people are expected to pop a pill, see a shrink, suck it up, and move on. When someone asks, “How are you?” the only acceptable answer in our society is “I’m fine.”

Then there is painger. Anger and pain meet, they join forces, and they focus their energy against you as if you did something wrong. Their power is unstoppable, unbelievable at times because you feel crazy. The fury causes your adrenaline to increase, which elevates your heart rate; meanwhile, you cannot stop the tears from falling down your face. The faster your heart beats, the harder you cry, as if a dam has broken inside of you. If you think about the people who have upset you and you don’t know if you want to hit them or hug them, then you may be experiencing painger.

When I’m sad, I cry, nap, write, read, bathe, shop, walk Winston, and/or talk to someone. When I’m angry (and I cannot confront the person due to circumstances beyond my control), I exercise, pace, shower, scream, shop, and/or complain to someone. When I’m paingry, I have found only one thing that tempers my rage and controls my tears. I hit balls at the BatCade in Burbank. If available, I choose the slow-pitch softball batting cage #1 because I can’t hit anything else and it’s located on the far side of the property so no one bothers me. I usually pay for the time instead of by the pitch, but either way, I stay until calluses start forming on my hands and my arms are too sore to lift the bat.

I love hitting the balls; they become the faces of the people whose actions caused my painger. This year, I’ve been seeing old friends and an ex-boyfriend soaring toward me as the pitching machine spits them out. With every swing, my emotional pain moves from my heart into my arms and hands. With every hit, my anger transfers from the bat to the ball as if I have slapped those people who have hurt me. When the softball flies through the air, I feel free from the painger; it’s impossible to cry or to be mad when you imagine hitting a home run. I always leave the batting cages feeling depleted but satisfied that I have won another battle against painger. My batting average—.60—isn’t too shabby either.

AWW — XoXo

P.S. I want to thank Bones for inspiring this blog. I promise we’ll have that Long Island at Boardners, and we’ll hit some balls when you visit LA.

Posted under Health & Relationships | No Comments »

Did you realize there are over 46,000 quizzes on Facebook? Even though I know these “tests” are not created by experts, I am still drawn to them. However, the results rarely surprise me except for the What color is your soul? quiz. I thought maybe my soul was red because it’s my favorite color or even orange because I have a quick temper. I would have understood if my soul was blue because I suffer from periods of melancholy. But according to Facebook, the color of my soul is yellow, “the color of sunshine.”

Apparently, yellow is associated with “joy, happiness, intellect, energy, and a strong sense of humor.” This quiz even figured out that I have a good head for business. (I guess Donald Trump’s soul is yellow, too.) I radiate a sunny personality. Sounds terrific—right? However, I remember another meaning for the word yellow: coward. Just watch some films from the 1930s and eventually a gangster will accuse one of his men of being “yellow.” In that sense, I do have a yellow soul, and I recall its worst public appearance.

I had been out drinking and dancing with two women—one friend Becky and her friend Sarah. Now Becky and I were not especially close, but she had been good to my sister while she was ill. Therefore, we tried to form a friendship despite our many differences. Though she volunteered her time to lots of causes, Becky didn’t actually work. She dry-cleaned her blue jeans. She once bought a $3000 watch just “because she could” but she had never worn it. I didn’t begrudge having more money than I did; I just didn’t understand her. Even if I had a million dollars in the bank, I cannot imagine not working (e.g., no one pays me to write my blog), I wouldn’t buy something that I wouldn’t wear, and I wouldn’t dry-clean clothes that can and should be laundered. However, she was a wonderful mother and a good person so we spent time together.

Deciding we were hungry after our evening at Howl at the Moon, Becky, Sarah, and I went to Mel’s on Sunset Blvd. The hostess sat us in the corner next to an obnoxious group of 20-somethings whose noisy racket could be heard over the buzz of the crowded restaurant. Becky and I sat next to each other with our backs to the “kids” while Sarah sat across from us. We complained about them while we waited for our food. When it arrived, I made a joke about doing something to shut them up. Becky and Sarah laughed. Without thinking, I threw the garnish on my plate—an orange slice—behind my head. Having a perfect view of what had happened, Sarah stopped laughing. Her face froze. I didn’t know it, but my aim had been flawless. The orange slice had hit one of the young women squarely in the face.

Everything happened so fast. The woman screamed, cursed, and pointed at Becky. The group turned to our table and started yelling at us. One young man accused Becky of targeting his girlfriend. There were three of us and six of them. Confused and trembling, Becky shook her head. Instead of claiming responsibility for my actions, I turned yellow. All I could muster was, “She didn’t do it. She didn’t do it.” Since oranges don’t magically fly through the air, no one was listening to me. I cannot remember any other time in my life when I’ve acted like such a coward. When I’ve allowed a friend to accept the blame for my bad behavior. When I’ve been so … yellow.

Eventually, the manager intervened and ejected all of us. (I think I may be banned from that Mels for life.) Outside, the security guard told us to stay back until the kids left the premises because they were members of an Asian gang that ran around in Hollywood. Even though our fear had been warranted, it was no excuse for what I had done. Or didn’t do. Becky barely spoke as she drove me home. Despite my numerous apologies, that incident incited the end of our friendship. Things were never the same between us. She had seen the color of sunshine turn ugly.

According to the quiz, someone with a sunny personality will also “shun responsibility, preferring freedom of thought and action.” (They always tell you the positive stuff first.) Wow. Maybe I do have a Yellow Soul—happy, humorous, and energetic, but also reckless, irresponsible, and cowardly. I can accept all of those adjectives except for the last one. I pride myself on living my life without fear. The next time I do something stupid (and I will) like throwing a piece of fruit at a bunch of gangsters, I’m going to stand up and say, “It was me. I did it. Take your best shot, asshole.” The first hit is for Becky.

AWW — XoXo

Posted under Relationships & Writing | No Comments »

One of my favorite episodes of Seinfeld deals with the issues of friendship, sex, and love—otherwise known as: This, That, and The Other. The back story of the characters Jerry Seinfeld and Elaine Benes includes a romantic relationship that evolved into a friendship. However, during season two, Jerry and Elaine find themselves in an unusual situation. Neither one of them is dating anyone, nor do they have any prospects on the horizon. After watching some soft-core porn on television, Jerry and Elaine discuss whether they should have sex with no strings attached (i.e. friends with benefits). In an episode titled, “The Deal” they establish a list of rules that will keep their friendship (This) intact while they reignite their sexual relationship (That).

1. No kissing
2. No phone call the next day
3. Spending the night is optional

Of course, things don’t go according to plan—especially after Jerry offends Elaine by giving her $182 in cash for her birthday. I love this episode because it illustrates how complex relationships are and how despite the best intentions (e.g., “The Deal“) people hurt each other. I also realized I’ve experienced every combination of This, That, and The Other.

This + The Other = Friend—This combination may seem unusual at first. How many people fall in love with their friends? Well, it’s happened to me. Twice. Okay, I’ll admit the words “in love” may be too strong, but I definitely had feelings for the men, and I was attracted to them. However, my kiss compatibility theory failed me in these two cases. *
No matter how hard I tried (no pun intended), I was not sexually compatible with my friends, and I don’t know how you can fix that problem. Either you have “That” or you don’t. In one case, the friendship resumed after some time had passed, but the other man never spoke to me again.

That + The Other = Lover—This combination is far more common because many people are not friends with their spouses, partners, significant others, etc. Recently, a male friend told me how his girlfriend made a point of stating that they were not friends, “I don’t fuck my friends,” she said, “You are my lover.” She went on to say did not want to be his friend because she already had plenty of friends.
Although I don’t feel that way about my husband, I understand her point of view. My ex-boyfriend and I were never friends. I didn’t want to be his friend. I realized a few years into our relationship that I didn’t even like him. I loved him; we were together seven years and he wanted to marry me (dodged that bullet), but we were never friends.

This + That = Friend with Benefits—As Jerry and Elaine discovered, this combination is tricky. I find it’s much easier when you just have “That” otherwise known as the Fuck Buddy. Without the friendship, there really are no strings. You don’t have to know what’s going on in the person’s life. You don’t need to care. If both people know the relationship serves one purpose—sex—then it can be quite mutually satisfying. The only rule here is Don’t Be Greedy. Appreciate the “That” and don’t try to turn it into something it’s not supposed to be. If it were going to be “This” or “The Other” it would have happened already.

This and That sound great in theory, but usually the friend-with-benefits relationship becomes unbalanced. I’ve experienced it once in my life, and the sex lasted for a while until I developed feelings for my friend. Like Elaine, I wanted it all: This, That, and The Other, but he didn’t see me as “girlfriend material.” Therefore, we dropped the sex and returned to being just friends. A few years later though, we found ourselves very much in the same predicament that Elaine and Jerry did—we were both single, and we missed having a regular sex life. Though it wasn’t planned per se, we shared a spectacular evening full of That. We knew the terrain and there were no big surprises. Afterward, I realized I could never let it happen again if I wanted our friendship to survive. I cared too much; I yearned for The Other. So I gave up the That to save the This.

This + That + The Other =Ideal Mate—The ultimate threesome, This, That, and The Other is what I had always hoped to find in a spouse, and I did. I like that my husband is my best friend. Forty years from now, we may not being doing That as often as we would like, and if we didn’t have the This—what the hell would we talk about? I also know no matter how much gravity attacks my body, my husband enjoys me as a friend. With benefits. Plus The Other. He stimulates me in every way possible: intellectually, physically, and emotionally. As Jerry said, “Who wouldn’t want This, That, and The Other?”

AWW — XoXo

* My college roommate and I hypothesized that sexual compatibility between a man and a woman could be determined by examining their kissing compatibility. (Not a novel theory, but we used a scientific method.) Factors included kissing techniques, touch sensitivity, heart palpitations, goose bumps, time lapses, irrational decisions, etc. Though the sample was small, we determined that 83% of the time, the kiss revealed all.

Posted under Entertainment & Relationships | No Comments »

Before I could understand why I bond more easily with men, I first had to examine male and female friendships. Nothing explains it better than this Friends the difference between men and women television clip. After seeing it, I realized despite being the first among my close high school girlfriends to lose her virginity, I hardly said anything about it. The conversation went something like this:

Girlfriends: Did it hurt?
Me: Yes.
Girlfriends: How much?
Me: A lot!

Despite our tight lips about certain subjects, I was very close to those girlfriends, but after high school, I moved to Los Angeles to attend USC, where I suddenly found myself surrounded by men. I remember thinking what Harry said to Sally about how men and women could never be friends because the sex always gets in the way. Most of the guys I met wanted to date me, and I went out with many of them. Some of those doomed romances developed into friendships, but they were not the same as my few female friendships.

Harry is right; the sexual tension never completely goes away. Even if you are not that attracted to the person, having a friend of the opposite sex brings another element to the relationship. I like having male friends (MFs, not to be confused with MILFs) because:

1. They are good for my ego. For example, one MF always greets me with “Helllooo gorgeous!”  When I admitted this truth to a different MF, he said, “That is very masculine of you.” I like the harmless flirtation because it’s safe and comfortable.
2. Men are completely honest. If I’m being irrational, illogical, or a general pain in the ass, they tell me. The candor goes both ways. I can be normal blunt self with my MFs, but I cannot be so honest with most women.
3. MFs are rarely jealous, judgmental, vindictive, gossipy, or mean, and they don’t compete with you. I didn’t even realize that some of my (now former) female friends competed with me until the men in my life pointed it out. When I think about competition, I imagine winning a board game, not beating my girlfriends at life.

When I asked my MFs about this issue, here is what they said:

• You don’t have girlfriends because girls in general don;t value loyalty. Men have friends for life; women have friends for months.
• You are entirely too blunt, too honest, and you speak your mind.
• You are like a having a guy friend, “low-maintenance.”
• We were always friends; we just didn’t talk. (A MF’s comment after a nine-year hiatus in our friendship due to a fight—guess that loyalty thing is true.)

Oscar Wilde once said, “Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.” I beg to differ. Maybe I have more MFs now because I grew up climbing trees, jumping off roofs, and begging the boys to let me play ball. Then again, I played with Barbies and took ballet lessons. However, I still remember the constant teasing and bullying in junior high; being verbally abused by my female peers hurt my self-esteem for years.

Positive female friendships are rewarding, yet complicated; they require more time, energy, and effort. Maybe I just don’t want to work that hard anymore. My MFs love me for who I am, and for that—I love you, man.

AWW — XoXo

P.S. I honestly love women, but as for finding my BFF, I don’t discriminate; gender doesn’t matter.

Posted under Entertainment & Relationships | No Comments »

When I asked this question on Facebook, most people responded with the same answers although not necessarily in the same order: spouse, parent, children, and/or another family member. If their children were not old enough to own a cell phone, then they had their children’s school in their Fave Five. One person replied, “No one” because he uses his Bluetooth to voice dial his contacts.

A concept created by T-Mobile (see the Wade/Barkley Fave Five commercials), Fave Five allows unlimited calling to your five favorite people even if they are on another network or only use a landline. However, the term “Fave Five” also implies the top five people in your speed dial—your favorite people. What I found most interesting is that not one adult listed any friends in their Fave Five, which makes me wonder if I’m just odd.

Here’s my Fave Five:

1. Voicemail — I’m sure there is a way to undo this default function, but I haven’t bothered to figure it out yet.
2. Corey — My husband is second only to the voicemail. I’m like most people—my spouse takes top priority.
3. Dad — My dad earned this spot after I realized how often I call him and after a friendship with a girlfriend ended. I realize now that he should have been #3 all along.
4. Tony — The only person I know who can talk longer on the phone than I can, and certainly the only man who likes to talk on the phone as much as a woman does!
5. J. T. — My best gay guy pal who doesn’t necessarily like to talk on the phone, but I feel good knowing he’s in my Fave Five.

If my sister Adrienne was still alive, she would have the #2 spot (she was in my life long before my husband), and if I had children they would need a place, too. There is nothing wrong with putting family before friends, but sometimes, I don’t think adults (especially after we become parents) remember that friendships are important to our mental health.

Obviously, your Fave Five doesn’t reflect the full scope of the relationships in your life, but it does say a lot about who is most important to you. If you can’t add a friend to your “Fave Five” at least include one in your speed dial; the numbers 6, 7, 8, and 9 are awfully lonely.

AWW — XoXo

P.S. Check out this Saturday Night Live Fave Five spoof!

Posted under Entertainment & Relationships | No Comments »

When a movie surprises me, I walk out of the theater with a smile on my face and a swing in my step. I Love You Man far exceeded my very low expectations. My husband wanted to see the movie because one of his favorite bands Rush plays a concert in the film. I agreed to go along because I’ve liked Paul Rudd ever since Clueless. However, I didn’t think a movie titled I Love You Man would be any good. Well, I was wrong.

In a story about straight-male friendships, Paul Rudd’s character Peter realizes after becoming engaged that he doesn’t have any male friends to be his groomsmen. He’s not even that close to his father or his gay brother (played by Andy Samberg). So Peter begins a quest to find friends using his family, his fiance, and the Internet, but his attempts to form new relationships meet with disastrous albeit funny results. Of course, when Peter stops looking, he meets Jason Segel’s character Sydney — a real man’s man whose bluntness turns off many people.

I couldn’t stop laughing as I watched Sydney and Peter sing Rush songs in the “man cave” (i.e., no women allowed). Sydney is a firm believer in having fun, and he is also brutally honest, which forces Peter to open up about himself, his relationship, and his dreams. Their newfound friendship feels real, and even when it is tested, it survives. This onscreen, make-believe, male friendship made me wonder about my friends …

• Why do I have more male than female friends?
• Is it because I’ve always been competitive and aggressive — traits normally associated with men?
• Is it because I am (according to my father) too blunt?
• Regarding friendships, how do men differ from women?
• Why do I like having male (gay or straight) friends?
• Can a straight woman and a straight man be friends?

I’m going to ponder these questions … look for my next blog titled I love you man — part deux

AWW — XoXo

Posted under Entertainment & Relationships | No Comments »

I’m sure you have see the Man Rules email circulating on the Internet. Well after reading it, I felt compelled to write about it. Download the Man Rules and then read the rules (black) as well as my responses (red). Take that men!

P.S. This blog is dedicated to my dad; he knows why …

AWW — XoXo

Posted under General & Relationships | No Comments »

During my most formative years, my family underwent many changes. My parents divorced, my father got remarried, my brother moved in with my dad and stepmother, my mother and I moved to another state, and my mother had another child, my half-sister Adrienne. Maybe due to the chaos or the fact that my mother wasn’t the best role model, I looked to films (and music) to learn some of life’s most valuable lessons.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) This comical spoof of the 80s culture with a terrific ensemble cast taught me that, unlike Stacy, I didn’t want to lose my virginity to a stranger; I wanted to be in love. I also didn’t want to become pregnant (especially by a sleaze bag) in high school. * I was and I didn’t.

Sixteen Candles (1984) When her entire family forgets her 16th birthday, Samantha hates her life—even more so when her school crush Jake accidentally finds out about her feelings for him. This movie made me believe that the awkward sort-of-pretty-but-not-gorgeous redhead could end up with the handsome hunk. It didn’t happen until my senior-year spring break in Daytona Beach, but I did eventually land the best looking Canadian guy—a true “pretty boy.” Being with someone who is more beautiful than you are is a strange feeling, but instead of being jealous, I became used to the constant stares of bikini-clad women looking at him. After all, he was with ME.

The Sure Thing (1985) One of my favorite John Cusack films, The Sure Thing chronicles the journey of two very different college students, a goofy guy and an uptight girl, as they try to get to their spring break destination in California. He’s going for the “Sure Thing” and she is visiting her oh-so-perfect boyfriend. Naturally, they hate each other. Besides laughing my ass off, this movie taught me that personality wins over looks every time. My best romantic relationships usually have rocky starts—from a guy dumping a drink over my head to my 195-pound dog stepping on my boyfriend’s balls (an incident that almost ended the relationship). However, these bumpy beginnings taught me that I not only need someone who will stand up to me, but I also need some verbal sparring to keep things interesting. Only a smart, funny, confident man can meet those requirements. If he happens to be attractive, too, well, that’s just a bonus!

St. Elmo’s Fire (1985) A movie about what happens to a group of friends after college graduation, St. Elmo’s Fire launched the careers of actors such as Demi Moore, Rob Lowe, and Andrew McCarthy. Although the film may seem a bit cheesy now, its theme is noteworthy: strong friendships can survive almost anything: sex, infidelity, drugs, obsession, etc. These characters remained friends through it all. We all expect to work at our romantic relationships, but friendships need the same kind of attention. I’ve learned since, however, that both parties have to want to make amends or the relationship will not survive.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) This light-hearted comedy reminded me that maybe I shouldn’t take myself so seriously. I actually saw this movie in the theater and for some reason stayed through all of the credits. I’m glad I did because Ferris tells the viewing audience “It’s over. Go home.” I laughed so hard and eventually took my own day off during “Junior Skip Day”—my graduating class’s reaction to the traditional Senior Skip Day. When most of (some students went to school—what party poopers!) the entire junior class couldn’t fit into his office, our principal decided punishing us all with suspension would be silly because he would be giving us permission to miss yet another day of school. I felt just like Ferris; we beat the system!

The Breakfast Club (1985) Following the success of Sixteen Candles, John Hughes wrote and directed The Breakfast Club, a simple film about five high school stereotypes who discover they are not so different when they are forced to spend the day together in detention. What I like most about this film is that it teaches us that at certain times in our lives, whether it’s passing time in school detention, sitting in a jail cell, or lying sick in a hospital bed, social status ceases to matter. No matter what, we are all human beings. The characters explain it best in the final voiceover of the film:

“Dear Mr. Vernon, We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you’re crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out, is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basketcase, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club”

Thank you Steve Bloom, Cameron Crowe, Amy Heckerling, Carl Kurlander, Rob Reiner, Jonathan Roberts, Joel Schumacher, and of course John Hughes for creating wonderful films that guided me through my youth.

P.S. The music in these movies is quintessential 80s and absolutely timeless.

AWW — XoXo

Posted under Entertainment & Relationships | No Comments »

In psychology, closure means “a sense of psychological certainty or completeness“; it can also describe the “completion of a closed traverse in such a way that the point of origin and the endpoint coincide within an acceptably small margin of error” with regard to surveying land. Although the former definition more accurately applies to my particular craving, I prefer the latter one because it describes my desire to end relationships with a sense that both parties have said their peace; both have come together and either agreed or agreed to disagree upon certain issues/incidents that have transpired. I crave the end of the closed traverse—within an acceptably small margin of error.

In real life, however, closure rarely happens. I wonder if it’s because most people hate confrontation or if it’s the necessity of honesty that is required for adequate closure to occur. All relationships end eventually, but unless I have a conversation with that friend, lover, relative, etc., I beat myself up over the Wouldas, Couldas, Shouldas, and What Ifs that I never expressed. Sometimes closure isn’t possible because the other person isn’t capable of carrying on a rational conversation (i.e. my mother); sometimes the person moves away and rehashing everything from a distance seems pointless; and sometimes the person refuses to seek closure with you—having already moved on with her life, not sharing the same craving.

The irony of the third example is not lost on me, and after another sleepless night of pondering the Wouldas, Couldas, Shouldas, and What Ifs, I realized I was playing defense, which is no way to live. So I switched sides, joined the offense, and found ways to close the door all by myself. I gathered old photos, written notes, misc chotchkes, and the cards for no reason; I decided what remnants of the relationship I wanted to remember. In the wee hours of the morning, I had three piles: Keep, Toss, and Return.

I kept almost everything, tossed very little, and plan to return a few items I don’t feel comfortable owning anymore. For the first time in six months, I can move forward—the pain less acute. By looking through everything, I relived the joy of the relationship, but also acknowledged that the laughter ceased long ago.

And that, my friends, is closure.

AWW — XoXo

Posted under Relationships | No Comments »

My husband and I saw The Reader this past weekend, and I cannot stop thinking about the film. Set in post-WWII Germany, a law student named Michael begins to re-evaluate his past when he sees his much older former lover Hanna (perfectly portrayed by Kate Winslet) defending herself in a war-crime trial. Many issues arise throughout the film: the Holocaust, statutory rape, young love, and later—betrayal when Michael discovers the truth about Hanna’s past.

It would be easy to classify The Reader as just another war film or even an ad for literacy, but as I ruminated over its theme, I realized that it’s not that simple. The film reminds us that someone, usually the person you would least expect, can have a profound impact on our lives. As we walk toward the future, we carry our pasts with us, but usually our memories are buried in our minds, not visible for others to see. However, when those pieces of personal history pop into our present lives—reminding us of who we were then and who we are now—emotions cyclone like a tornado causing us to relive the joys, sorrows, fears, pains, and regrets that we never thought would surface again.

This epidemic of our pasts haunting us has become more prevalent due to online social networks like Facebook and MySpace, which reconnect us with childhood friends, high school pals, college roommates, and previous lovers. We have to ask ourselves: Do we want to be our history’s “friend”? And if we do, why and what does that mean exactly? Are we recapturing our youth? Reliving fond memories? Reflecting on what we did or didn’t do?

Relationships end for a reason, but the Internet has guaranteed that if we desire, we can perpetuate our past connections well into our future. The question then becomes—should we?

AWW — XoXo

P.S. A self-proclaimed overly nostalgic, sentimental person, I am a huge fan of Facebook.

Posted under Entertainment & Relationships | No Comments »