10. You watch Lifetime movies.
9. You like Lifetime movies.
8. You watch Lifetime movies even when you don’t like them.
7. You record Lifetime movies.
6. You watch enough Lifetime movies to know that the ones on the Lifetime Movie Network (LMN) are always better than the ones on the regular Lifetime channel.
5. You get genuinely upset when your cable provider has a dispute with LMN, which seems to happen every six months.
4. You know what Pick-a-Flick Fridays are.
3. You IMDB the actors in a Lifetime movie because they look familiar only to discover they have been in other Lifetime movies that you have already seen.
2. You watch two LMN movies in a row and don’t realize you have already seen both of the films until the end of the second one, yet you don’t care that you have wasted four hours of your time on a Friday night.
1. You lie down, watch four Lifetime films back-to-back, and after eight hours you cannot recall the plot of any of the movies. Oh—and you forget to eat. Or you eat an entire bag of chips. Or a pint of ice cream. Or both.
*While this post is meant to be funny and self-deprecating, please see a professional psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist if you are experiencing symptoms of depression.
Originally published on May 24, 2010 on my previous blog titled Pondering happiness, hope, wisdom